About Your Backyard

In the summer of 1977, I was 16, quickly approaching 17. Each of the past few summers I had gone from my home in Atlanta to visit my sister and stay for the school break with her and her family in Tyler, Texas. I would find part time employment, and enjoy the closeness of this family. This particular summer, I was of legal driving age, so I persistently, without success I might add, asked almost daily, if I could drive their car somewhere, anywhere, I just wanted to drive. No such luck, I was not getting the keys to the Heavy Chevy. This car, I thought was so cool, it was bright (orange with white racing stripes), loud, and fast. There were some minor problems with the car, one of which has a major part of this story. This particular problem was that the car was a 3-speed stick shift, and would very often get stuck in 2nd gear.

One afternoon while my sister was preparing dinner for the day, she realized that she was missing something from the store that she needed, and was too busy to go and get it. Well, I of course volunteered (more like begged if I recall right) to "drive" to the store, which was less than a couple miles away, and get it for her. She thought, thought, and thought some more, before finally giving in and telling me that I could use the car and go get her what she needed. She laid out her ground rules, go straight there, get what I need and come straight back, absolutely no side trips, and that I should be back in less than 15 minutes. Piece of cake I thought to myself. I was so excited!

I grabbed the keys, saw the look in my sisters eyes as if she was giving her child to a total stranger, and when would she see him again, and made my way out the door. The metal clank of the door as it squeaked open was as music is to my ears, then I slowly slipped into the drivers seat, adjusted the mirrors, checked my hair, ha ha, and made sure I was looking "cool" before I slid the ignition key into the ignition. Clutch in, and turn - vrooom. I made a feeble attempt not to show my excitement, but I just had to race the engine when it started.

Off I go on my trek to the grocery store. Everything goes well, and I get there in one piece. I find what she needs, make my purchase, and slide back into the drivers seat of the Heavy Chevy. On the way back to my sisters house, I had almost made it to her street to turn when it happened. I saw two young girls walking down the street ahead of me. This is where my troubles began, surprised? I thought not, he he. Well, I wanted to see what they looked like, and also wanted them to see me driving this cool car, but there was one problem - they were already past where my turn was supposed to occur.

I paused at the spot where I was supposed to turn, then decided that there would be no harm in me driving down the road a little further to see the two young girls. The road I was on dead ended in to a highway about a mile from my turn, and there was a house at the end of a road that I could turn around in and return. So, in 1st gear, I slowly started moving towards the females, then slipped it into 2nd gear, and slowly cruised past them, turning my head ever so nonchalantly towards them as I passed (ick, where's that turnaround spot?). As I approached the driveway to the aforementioned home, I was still in second gear. I slowly turned into the driveway, brought the car to a stop, and went to put it into reverse. Ruh roh - no can do. That gear is stuck again in second. "Oh boy", I thought, "now what am I going to do?"

The house here sat well off of the road, probably 100 yards. I scanned the area, and weighed my options, when I noticed that the driveway to this house went completely around the back of the house, and came out the other side. I could tell that there was no one at home there, so it was simple I thought. I can get the car moving in second gear well enough to drive around the back of the house, and come out the other side. So, this was my plan, then I saw it, ugh, there was a car on the other part of the driveway which would block me from leaving from that side. By this time I am getting nervous. I know my 15 minutes are up, and I should be back at my sisters. Now I am thinking to myself how silly it was of me to do this just to see a couple of girls - darn that ego!

I thought some more of what I could do, looked the place over, and then saw it - just beyond the bend in the driveway at the back of this house was a huge backyard. I hated to do it, but this was my only choice. I decided that I would drive into the backyard, turn the car around there, I could tell there was plenty of room, come back out the same way I came in, and be on my merry way. Another brilliant plan I must say. Uh huh.

So, off I went, slowly getting the car to move in second gear, until I got into the back of the house. It was here that I paused again, one more time to reconsider what I was planning, making sure no one was home, was there really enough room to do this, but in reality, I knew there was no choice now, I mean really, look where I was. So, I again started moving slowly, and before long I was completely off of the driveway, and in their backyard. I was in the middle of making my wide turn, when the car stalled. I restarted it, but could not get it to move, I was beginning to spin the tires. Big ruh roh now. I took my foot off of the gas pedal, and looked out the window at the ground, when I realized I was on top of a slushy muddy and quite smelly mess. As my fate would have it, I was on top of a leaky septic tank. Well, I just kept trying and trying to get this car out of this backyard, but all I was doing was tearing up the backyard. I was throwing mud and grass clumps everywhere, and was in the middle of a major panic attack. I had to do this myself, how would I explain this to my sister? She would be so disappointed in me, and pretty mad probably too.

Continued efforts to free the car failed to do anything but make a terrible mess of these people's backyard. Finally I gave up and decided to abandon the car there and walk back to the house. This was not good, I walked very slowly, trying to come up with some logical story to pass off on my sister about how I was able to get her car stuck in the backyard of a total stranger. Nothing logical came to mind.

When I walked in the garage door to the house, my sister looked at me and said, "I didn't hear the car come up." "Yeah", I thought, "Just what I needed to hear." "Well, I told her, I have a problem." I then told her the story, changing only the part about the girls, replacing it with, "I overran the turn for the street." Once she got over the shock of this, she said to me, "C'mon, maybe if you push while I drive, we can get it out of there." So, this is what we tried, and yes, I got a bath in that yucky stuff, as the wheels kept spinning and spinning, getting nowhere, and tearing up the yard even more. She then decided that I would try and free the gearshift from underneath. I had seen her husband do this before, but I had never tried it. I think she just wanted to make me lay down in that mess as punishment, but I was not about to argue with her. Thus, there I lay in that stinky mess, trying to free the gear shift up, but could not get it free. We eventually gave up, went home and she called her husband at work.

I am very fortunate that he was such a mild mannered man when it came to catastrophes. He just told her to tell me to be waiting for him after work in front of the house where the car was, and he would take care of it. When he arrived there, I was waiting, head hung low from embarrassment. I hopped in his truck and we drove up the driveway into the back yard area. He got a rope from his truck, tied the two vehicles together, and pulled it back onto the driveway, where he then got underneath and freed the gear back up. There was still no one home at this residence, and wow, that backyard looked terrible! He told me to get in, back the car up, and meet me at home. He backed out first and waited on the street for me. As I was backing out, the residents of the home drove up. I stopped the car, and thought to myself, "Oh great, this is all we need." My brother-in-law was already out of the truck now, approaching the driver of the car that had just arrived. I was about halfway down the driveway, stopped. The driver of the car got out, and I could see, but not hear them talking to one another. My brother-in-law motioned for me to continue backing out of the driveway, and to head home. So, that's what I was doing. I was watching them out of the corner of my eye, not wanting to look directly at them, and backing up, when all of a sudden I hear a thump, and the car stops. Yep, I did again - I backed right into a tree, this was just not my day. I put my head on the steering wheel then slowly glanced over to where the two of them were talking. I could see a slight snicker in his face, and he just shook his head, and motioned for me to get on back to the house.

This is where I left him. I have no idea what kind of settlement he made with the man, only that when he came back to the house, not a word was said of the incident, and never again was it brought up to me. I didn't drive again though for the rest of that summer vacation. Probably a good thing huh? I see my sister shaking her head yes, as she reads this.